Something strange, surprising and totally unexpected happened to me last week.  I am in Chicago at the Harvest Training Centre preparing for what is the next step for us in ministry.  So when I learned last week that our previous church, Compass Community Church, had announced my replacement I was not prepared for the wave of emotion that I felt. My head has been so focused on what is next that I have had little time to continue to think about what we have left behind. There have been these moments that have jolted me back into that reality. When our house finally sold I felt elation of what God had done and at the same time the loss of the disconnect from a community of people that we love dearly. I felt all of that again when I read that Andrew Gordon will be considered for the role of Senior Pastor at Compass. I am very happy that God has provided for Compass and for Andrew and his family. I feel the delight but I also feel the sadness of the finality. I am certain someone out there is saying “suck it up buttercup” or “what did you expect would happen?” Yes, I get it. We are all moving forward as we should. I have been wondering since the beginning of September, what is taking you so long and then last week, “it only took you that long?” There have been a lot of mixed emotions.

I am so thankful for a dear friend who took the time to send me an email on the Sunday of the announcement expressing appreciation and care for me. It is hard to explain the relationship between pastor and those he is watching over, as one who gives an account (Hebrews 13:17). Pastors care and even when we have supposedly moved on we continue to care deeply.