Turns out that this extended period of sabbath rest is harder work than I thought it would be. Now I am not expecting a chorus of violins but I have found the stillness of these weeks can be exhausting. I am struggling with being "idle". I have found that the default of doing what I always do easier than the newness of the life patterns of this sabbath.
Perhaps it is because
- Being busy and productive is where many of us get our sense of worth from. I fear that many of us derive our value from what we do not who we are. When rest comes some even feel guilty about it because "I should be doing something".
- We love talking about wanting more "depth" in our life but we really don’t want to travel the awkward path that leads to such "depth". I think many of us either fear it or don’t have a clue as to how to go about seeing that happen. "Listening" to the still small voice of God takes rest. Many of us would rather not deal with the questions and emotions and just keep going on. The examined life can be difficult.
So what I am discovering is that the perseverance required to continue this journey well takes great courage and strength of character. We should all ask God for that.